Please, let me fuck your mom
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
