Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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