me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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