Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
