I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
