Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
