just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
