ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
NoShamevember. You game?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
