I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
