that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
