I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize