oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
