We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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