Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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