is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
