strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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