I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
