she looked like the bat from fern gully.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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