K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
