Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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