he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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