shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
