i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
