AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
