He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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