I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
one two three fourrrrnication!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
