Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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