Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
