So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
