fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
