Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
