The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
