moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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