Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
