The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
