Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
