These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
