she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
