yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
