dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize