New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I got inside last night via doggy door
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize