last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
