If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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