There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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