I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
