if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I need water and some morals
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
