I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
