I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
