i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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