Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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