Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
