It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
