ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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