The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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