I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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