I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
