I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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