You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
