oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
