Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
