If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
