Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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