i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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